I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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