I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize