she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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