We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
