Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
