Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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