tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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