It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
