Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
