don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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