Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
What a fucking waste of an outfit
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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