I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Sext me about skeletons
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
