Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
