Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  well I can't set my house on fire every night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): well I can't set my house on fire every night http://tfl.nu/iwc7
  Replies (3) Good night (1646) Bad night (1194)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work. http://tfl.nu/5w8x
  Replies (16) Good night (2310) Bad night (734)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on http://tfl.nu/v7m7
  Replies (41) Good night (6835) Bad night (868)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out http://tfl.nu/smzd
  Replies (20) Good night (733) Bad night (3409)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (940): I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner. http://tfl.nu/au8r
  Replies (41) Good night (4308) Bad night (1713)
• Favorite

  (+07): View more from

  tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+07): tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance? http://tfl.nu/7v50
  Replies (34) Good night (5357) Bad night (998)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend http://tfl.nu/ejvb
  Replies (10) Good night (3374) Bad night (1000)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  She puked her nose ring out of her face.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): She puked her nose ring out of her face. http://tfl.nu/6cuk
  Replies (11) Good night (1184) Bad night (2658)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days. http://tfl.nu/hblx
  Replies (6) Good night (1147) Bad night (535)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN. http://tfl.nu/0bkl
  Replies (11) Good night (1403) Bad night (376)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking. http://tfl.nu/611y
  Replies (4) Good night (494) Bad night (740)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  ......how on earth do you do that?

  (425): View more from Washington

  NINJAAAA

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style. (503): ......how on earth do you do that? (425): NINJAAAA http://tfl.nu/oky6
  Replies (8) Good night (740) Bad night (722)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me http://tfl.nu/l6rg
  Replies (1) Good night (282) Bad night (526)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party http://tfl.nu/gnzr
  Replies (1) Good night (477) Bad night (283)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  sidebar: i fucked your brother last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): sidebar: i fucked your brother last night http://tfl.nu/vqyq
  Replies (2) Good night (367) Bad night (269)

Randomize