There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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