so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter