make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
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Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
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She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
This is classic penis vs brain.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.