Texts From Last Night

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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.

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  (781): i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up. http://tfl.nu/navv
  Replies (12) Good night (4662) Bad night (693)
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  (516): View more from New York

  she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?

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  (516): she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe? http://tfl.nu/rh9d
  Replies (25) Good night (1140) Bad night (4701)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight

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  (313): Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight http://tfl.nu/29c9
  Replies (30) Good night (6138) Bad night (698)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.

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  (618): We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him. http://tfl.nu/xg0w
  Replies (23) Good night (10611) Bad night (799)
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  (786): View more from Florida

  hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.

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  (786): hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night. http://tfl.nu/2z1d
  Replies (8) Good night (4927) Bad night (1397)
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  (619): View more from California

  Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich

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  (619): Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich http://tfl.nu/k8p8
  Replies (14) Good night (6108) Bad night (1148)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.

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  (717): What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese. http://tfl.nu/9uuf
  Replies (10) Good night (4967) Bad night (815)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...

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  (410): I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely... http://tfl.nu/3vo6
  Replies (3) Good night (1574) Bad night (741)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"

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  (813): It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman" http://tfl.nu/5ocz
  Replies (9) Good night (1742) Bad night (795)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"

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  (402): So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October" http://tfl.nu/8ift
  Replies (8) Good night (3952) Bad night (847)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.

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  (812): I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator. http://tfl.nu/ijx1
  Replies (21) Good night (2124) Bad night (1039)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.

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  (817): I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good. http://tfl.nu/zf93
  Replies (2) Good night (948) Bad night (299)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....

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  (618): She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook..... http://tfl.nu/g300
  Replies (6) Good night (320) Bad night (1311)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.

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  (403): Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull. http://tfl.nu/z0zm
  Replies (1) Good night (251) Bad night (269)
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  (805): View more from California

  getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine

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  (805): getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine http://tfl.nu/rtlz
  Replies (3) Good night (265) Bad night (170)

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