He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns