i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
