I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize
