So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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