I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
