"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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