Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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