Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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