So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
