how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
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