watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize