So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
