none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
