She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
