Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
