Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
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Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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