The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
