the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
