You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
