the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
