some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like heaven, but drunker
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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