Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
