I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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