i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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