You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
