Do you still have your period?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
