All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
