I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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