I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
