so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
