he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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