Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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