The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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