Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
