i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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