Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
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Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
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Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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