Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
