Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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