just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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