It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
my sisters under your porch take her home
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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