i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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