The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
