Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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