I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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