id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
