I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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