Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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