You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
