i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I am full of burrito and curiosity
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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