You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I believe in your delicious
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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