we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
