Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
How does one acquire holy water?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
