he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
